I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
