I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize