just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
