There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
