she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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