a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
