these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
