seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I currently don't understand fingers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
