Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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