Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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