She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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