i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
