so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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