Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
