I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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