You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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