Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
