he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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