that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
