you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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