Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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