He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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