I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she peed on how many people?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
