using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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