I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
