Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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