I heard we made out
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
