So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
