You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
