you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
try to milk me bitch
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