all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
