So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
