How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
