Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
