Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
