He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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