i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm just crazy horny about you
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
