hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
