i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
