saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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