"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
