Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
