you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
