so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
