My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
