yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
