2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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