Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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