Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
