There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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